Happy Wine-O-Wednesday! Today should be a celebration of surviving half way through another week. I haven’t written one of these in a while but it isn’t for my lack of vino enthusiasm. If I could say one thing I’ve learned about wine is that it should be a girl’s best friend. It’s there at all stages of (adult)life to hold your hand and celebrate. Plus it’s also chocolates best friend and who doesn’t want to be apart of that trio. On a serious note, this post isn’t about wine. That doesn’t mean you still can’t enjoy some. So grab a glass and get ready because I’m about to give you my 2(5) Cents.
This is my version of letters to my younger self. I’m made a list of 25 things I have learned about myself and about life in the past quarter century. Some of them are small, some of them are a bit deeper, but all of them mean something very important to me. And what better way to celebrate surviving life thus far, then sharing how I did it, with all of you. Enjoy!
- Know Thyself: Know when it’s time to quit, when it’s time to try again, and especially when it’s time for nap. Get familiar with what your gut is saying, if you don’t enjoy something the first or the second time around than it’s not for you. Get to know yourself and they become reacquainted again and again as you change.
- Stop thinking everyone is out to get you: No the entire class does not hate you. No, not everyone saw you trip up the stairs. And no, no one is going to remember that time you peed your pants in 5th grade because you were laughing too hard. People don’t hold onto things like this, only you do. No one is watching you under a microscope waiting for you to screw up.
- Foregoing mascara vs. eyeshadow is always a BAD idea: Glittery eyeshadow with blonde, nonexistent lashes is not a good look on you. Be grateful your mom made you wash your face before class in 6th grade. In 7th she let it slide and you are still afraid of the day those photos will surface.
- Don’t follow the crowd: The people who are having the most fun are usually the ones setting the trends, not following them. Plus, if you really want to be original, you have to learn to think for yourself. Bandwagons are bandwagons regardless of what music they like.
- Other girls are not the enemy: They are not here to duel to the death in a comparison war. Boys (and other girls) will like you the same either way, actually they will like you more when you play nice. It’s okay if your best friend has other best friends. One day you will realize that other girls are the opposite of the enemy because face it, you can’t bond over chocolate and chick flicks with a group of dudes no matter how ‘sensitive’ they think they are.
- High school doesn’t matter: What you once thought was the end all to life will soon become a bad memory. You aren’t going to remember every face or name that you dreaded seeing each day. You will eventually realize that everyone was way nicer than you remember and most of the time they were trying to be your friend, not get dirt on you.
- Your fashion mistakes will not follow you forever: High school was just a test run. The practice needed to conquer the adult world by storm. Just remember that skater pants and giant sweatshirts will not make you into a cooler version of Avril Lavigne. What will make you look like a similar version of a well dressed #BossGirl, is wearing things that actually fit. There is a way to do baggy and a way to do tight fitting, but too much of both will always look wrong.
- Love your family: Things won’t always be perfect with them but they are the only ones that you’ve got. Appreciate the time you have and stop focusing on what could have been. They are not something to be embarrassed about. The other kid’s parents weren’t cool just because they weren’t as strict, they were cool because they’re kids weren’t ashamed of them. Same goes for your siblings.
- When hunger strikes, don’t ignore it: This goes for being hangry as well as having low blood sugar. No one wants to deal with someone who is cranky and might pass out.
- Who you’re associated with doesn’t define you: Your friends don’t make you likable. Your personality does. No one wants to be friends with someone who is superficial. One day you’ll regret not pursuing friendships because you thought someone wasn’t ‘cool’ enough.
- Your past also does not define you: Everyone makes mistakes, no matter what age. If you can learn to forgive yourself than others can too. With age comes maturity and change. You are not who you used to be and your past experiences do not dictate your future.
- You can never be too old: Two words: Disney Movies. When you get older,you realize everyone loves watching Lion King. Glow in the dark stars are always going to be cool. And bringing a stuffed animal to a sleepover is always acceptable. If someone makes fun of you, they’re not your friend. This applies to boyfriends also.
- Never apologize for what you like: Sure you were embarrassed about your Twilight book when you first got it, but that’s because the whole craze didn’t hit for another 2 years. There is always going to be someone out there who likes the same things as you. And those girls who always seemed to be so sure of themselves never let someone else’s opinion of the things they enjoyed stop them from enjoying it.
- Stop being afraid of failure: The only one who can really say you failed is yourself. In the words of Thomas Edison, “I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways how NOT to make a lightbulb.” Positivity, am I right!?
- Mom was right: About everything.
- Don’t blow all your money on clothes: I know that dress is cute and those shoes are perfect but you eventually end up living in workout clothes and your work uniform.
- Lying is NEVER an answer: No matter how small or innocent, that fib will catch up to you. Your parents or friends will find out the truth and when you finally come clean about it they may not believe you. Honesty is key.
- Dive into Jesus: Having a close personal relationship with him is the greatest thing you will ever do. With Him, anything is possible.
- Cats: They are one of the greatest creatures ever created. They will be your white noise maker when you sleep, feet warmers when you are cold, and great listeners for one sided conversations. Also, all other animals are great too.
- You are in control of YOU: no one else. So stop trying to change those around you and focus on what you can do to improve the situation. You are in charge of yourself, no one else can force you to do or feel anything, it’s all up to you.
- Communication is KEY: This is why your friendships were always one
fightand done. Talking it out and saying your sorry will never be a bad decision. It will also become the most important thing in your (romantic) relationships, he can’t read your mind no matter how hard you try telepathy.
- Learn to love yourself: If you don’t love you then how can anyone love you. God loves you. Your parents love you and it’s kind of insulting to them if you don’t love you. It makes it seem like you’re questioning their judgement. This goes for your body also. Being small is not a curse, you have small boobs, get over it.
- Learn when to walk away: It’s okay to say goodbye to unhealthy relationships. If your friendship is one-sided they probably won’t even notice when you stop calling. It doesn’t mean that you’re giving up. It means you know that you deserve better. This applies to jobs and everything else too.
- You will never be her: or him. You can only be you. So be the best you there can be because you only get one shot..do not miss your chance..(cue Eminem).
- You are worth it: You are worthy. You are worth loving, worth the extra drive, worth the tears and the heart ache. All those nights spent crying yourself to sleep did not damage you beyond repair. They did not put you on the clearance rack because you were broken. They made you stronger and more precious. They taught you how to be broken so you could be fixed and gave you the very thing that makes you, you.
I’ve learned a ton more lessons in my short lifetime but these were the ones I felt most compelled to share. I still struggle with most of them but I know now that things can and will always get better. I know that I will continue to get older and change. With that will come more lessons, some harder to learn than others, and even though many of them hurt I’m learning to embrace the change. Life is full of surprises and I hope that by hearing about a few of mine you won’t be afraid to grow up like I was.
Hugs & Kittens,